Our dreams of having a dog that can happily bounce around the dog park or a pup sitting quietly at our feet while we have our Sunday morning coffee at the local cafe might look very different in reality. We look in awe at the other dogs calmly going about their business or playing happily together and wonder why ours is barking, growling, snapping or cowering at every dog it sees. We ponder whether obedience classes might help solve the problem. We wonder if there is a book or YouTube channel that will give us the magic answer to having a 'sociable' dog. We might even call a trainer. And we hope for the solution.
Before we can find a solution, let's have a look at the problem. Concerns about dogs interacting with other dogs is one of the most common 'problems' I hear from clients looking for dog training. But sometimes the 'problem' is more that as a society, we have completely lost touch with the instinctive nature of dogs. We've spent the last couple of decades humanising them and we now think that they should know how to act like polite, civilised beings in all situations. (which is pretty funny considering many humans haven't even mastered that!)
Now don't get me wrong, having a civilised and polite dog is exactly the goal we should be striving for when we welcome a dog in to the family but why does it seem so hard to achieve sometimes? Is it because we aren't training our dogs enough? Well yes, that is certainly a factor in many cases. The best intentions sometimes go to ground and our dogs don't get the training they require to be well adjusted citizens. As a dog trainer, I certainly think that many owners simply just don't put in the work required - it's easy to underestimate just how much effort can go into a great, well balanced dog.
But what else is going on? Because even with the best training, dogs can sometimes act like...... well, dogs. They aren't programmable robots that can have the latest software update and they aren't humans in fur coats capable of comprehending social etiquette. There's no doubt that we can teach them behaviours that fit better with our human expectations but there is definitely no canine reasoning happening on a human level. We are dealing with Canis Lupis Familiaris, a completely different species to us and with very strong and differing instincts. And that is where many a problem originates because we deny them being able to think and feel like a dog. Instead, we assume that since they live in our human world that they should be able to think like humans. I would go so far as to say that we are doing our dogs a huge disservice by treating them like furry children.
Dog parks
Humans like to look at dog parks as an all-in-one solution to their dog's exercise and socialisation needs. Dogs get to run freely without the restriction of leads and have a social catch-up with the neighbourhood crowd. It seems like our dogs should be ecstatic and thankful for the opportunity. But I have owners regularly contacting me concerned that their dog is displaying the following behaviours in the dog park -
Barking at the other dogs
Snapping at the other dogs
Hiding between their owner's legs
Humping the other dogs
The owners are looking for a training solution that is going to help train the dog out of these behaviours, so everyone can get to the part where they enjoy going to the dog park. The reality is though that many dogs are just never going to be 'dog park dogs'.
And that is completely ok and completely normal. There is nothing wrong with the dog or the owner, it just isn't a natural situation for a dog to be placed in. It is actually the complete opposite of a dog's instinctive thoughts about other dogs. They are wired to assume that dogs outside of their known circle are likely to be a threat so putting a whole heap of strange dogs together is a recipe for disaster. The dogs are high on adrenaline and can be hyper-aroused to the stimulus around them. This can make their reactions more intense than they would be in natural situations. They are all trying to assess each other as either friend or foe and this can be extremely taxing on their coping mechanisms.
There are certainly dogs that seem to really enjoy dog parks. They don't seem outwardly stressed about anything and they could be given a congeniality award for their interactions with others. Sometimes though we assume this is the norm and we often wonder why our dog isn't like this. We wonder why they aren't enjoying the opportunity to hang out with other dogs. Although there may be some factors like lack of early socialisation or a negative experience with dogs that is contributing, the main focus should be on the fact that it just isn't a natural situation for dogs. Dog parks can be great when they are empty and you can give your dog some off lead time. They are also great when you want to work on some training within close proximity to some contained dogs, this can be great for focus with distraction training. And they may even be great for the dogs that really do seem to enjoy it and have smooth interactions with the other dogs. But for the remainder of all the very normal dogs who don't like dog parks or who don't interact well in dog parks, that is perfectly ok. Release yourself and your dog of the pressure to conform to the human perception of what dogs need and find some other fun activities you can do with your dog. Long lead sniff walks, scent games, trick training or playing with known dog friends rather than strangers.
And if you do decide to frequent dog parks, here are some tips to ensure things are a little smoother and safer for everyone.
Help other owners coming into the park by calling your dog away from the gate. Being crowded by dogs at the gate is very confronting for a dog.
Move around the perimeter of the park with your dog rather than just standing still in the one place. This gives the dogs a feeling of space and safety and helps to diffuse some of the edgy energy.
Don't throw balls in the dog park - it can create problems with resource guarding and over stimulation.
Ensure you have progressed to a good level of recall before you start using off leash areas and dog parks. Dogs should always be under full control in these situations.
Use that reliable recall and call your dog away from edgy situations before it escalates.
Don't take your dog in to the dog park on a leash, it will create a very unstable energy when dogs are greeting each other. If you are unsure whether your dog will get along with other dogs, you should be doing gradual work leading up to this event rather than letting them off the leash and hoping for the best.
Pay attention to your dog the whole time so you can react to situations before they get out of hand.
Spend the time necessary to have your dog enter the dog park in a calm manner. Having them out of control and pulling on the lead to get there is going to result in a dog that is overstimulated and not ready to handle challenging situations that may occur. It's important to note that you need to be focused on achieving true calm in this situation, not fabricated calm where the dog resembles a wound-up spring ready to suddenly unravel at the slightest release.
Doggy Day-care
Doggy Day-care is another idea that us humans think is a great idea. And it certainly can be a life saver for owners with dogs struggling with separation anxiety. But I have owners contacting me asking how they can train their dogs to like going to day-care. Usually these are owners who have been cautioned by the day-care operator that their dog is likely to be 'expelled' if they can't learn to get along with the other dogs. Or their doggy report card states that the dog seems nervous and unsure.
Doggy day-care challenges are much like the ones listed above when talking about dog parks. You are putting a whole heap of dogs with differing temperaments and playing styles into a small space and expecting them to get along like children at a birthday party. The same realities apply here too - it is a very unnatural situation that many dogs will just not cope well with. It is better than dog parks in that good day-care operators will have matched the dogs up into sections where they are more likely to mix well. And much like dog parks sometimes, they may learn to be familiar with dogs they see on a regular basis. But when dogs are there all day and not getting a chance to decompress, they can become over stimulated and edgy or they may shut down and withdraw in order to cope. If your dog's report card from day-care is more D's than A's, your dog is very normal. It is the situation that isn't normal for dogs.
If your dog isn't able to cope with day-care and you are stuck for options for your dog being cared for during the day, you may need to look into less intense scenarios for your dog. Perhaps a home day-care option with just a couple of dogs they can become familiar with. Or maybe employ a dog sitter who looks after just your dog. Or possibly your dog may be happier at home with someone coming in during the day to give them a walk and some company.
Out and about with your dog
Having a dog that can calmly walk past other dogs while we browse the local markets or sit calmly at our feet while we sip on a long black is something many owners hope for when they first think about welcoming a dog into their family. Unfortunately, this vision seems unobtainable in many instances and owners are often looking for solutions to their dog barking and lunging at other dogs in their vicinity. It is very important to look at things from a dog's perspective before we start looking at how to make progress with this situation.
Dogs view the world in a very different way to us and their instinctive nature doesn't allow for them to think of a coffee outing or market trip in the same way as us. While we are admiring the local craft wares or enjoying a croissant, our dogs can be feeling like they are on high alert from the dangers around them, especially strange dogs. Being away from the safety of their home is always going to make them feel more vulnerable to perceived dangers. Therefore, the reaction is going to be very intense when the dog is first of all, being in very close proximity to other dogs makes them feel like it's too late to utilise their favoured survival mechanism of 'flight' (which is essentially getting away from the danger.) Secondly, they can't get away anyway because the lead is inhibiting this. So while we are imaging how much fun it must be for a dog to be out and about enjoying the sights, they are imagining all the scary things that could happen to them when strange dogs get too close. They may try to create space between them and the threat by barking, growling or lunging. Or they may be cowering under your chair as they don't feel they have the means necessary to solve the issue. Either way, some dogs just aren't going to be enjoying their outing very much at all.
When we give our dogs appropriate socialisation in their critical socialisation period, we are often able to over-ride these natural fear responses and these dogs may therefore be able to enjoy such an outing. (what appropriate socialisation actually is will be a story for another day.) Many dogs have missed vital learning opportunities at their impressionable age and they are at a major disadvantage when it comes to coping with this.
But many times, the natural instinct of a dog is there regardless and we may still find some situations challenging. Or a previously well-adjusted dog may have had a negative experience which resulted in a change of behaviour.
In situations where the dog is finding it challenging to cope with what we think should be a fun experience, it is important we stop thinking like a human and start thinking like a dog. They aren't reacting because they are being naughty, they are fearful for their safety. Continuing to expose them to their fears at a level where they aren't coping and appropriate feedback is not being given by the owner, it is likely going to worsen the fear rather than lessen it. A good approach is to go right back to basics and start working at a level where your dog can cope. This will most certainly impede on your goal of enjoying a nice day out but your dog is not enjoying it and no amount of coercion is going to change that. On that note, remember that a wagging tail doesn't always indicate happiness and excitement. It simply means adrenaline levels are high in your dog's body and this can be as a result of stress too.
Going back to basics may be having some in home training to get the relationship between you and your dog solid at home before taking them out into the big, scary world. It may also include group training sessions where your dog can start to accept strange dogs as non-threatening. Personally, I always prefer to start in the home and then work forwards from there as getting the base foundations in place is very important for good results.
It's worth nothing that sometimes the instinctive nature of dogs will still present in certain situations, even when the dog is usually happy and relaxed while out and about. For example, I would consider my dog to be well rounded but recently she was lying under the table, half asleep while I was having a coffee at a cafe. A lady walked past and allowed her small dog to approach right up to my dog's face. This resulted in my dog growling and snapping at the smaller dog. Many people would label that as an aggressive action by my dog whereas I would label it as a very normal reaction in the circumstance. Our dogs aren't bad or aggressive dogs if they find other dogs behaviour confronting and need to communicate their feelings. I would've liked the chance to explain to that particular owner that allowing her dog to approach unknown dogs is very unsafe and silly. But unfortunately society has very skewed views on dogs having to meet each other and, in these situations; we have to manage the situation as best as we can. It may mean that in the absence of people knowing better, you need to advocate for your dog. You may need to be pro-active about the way you choose to conduct your outing for example putting a vest on a dog that is slightly nervous or choosing places where you are less likely to have other people make these mistakes.
If I had the opportunity to shout it from the rooftops, I would be shouting to owners to stop thinking that dogs have to meet other unknown dogs. There are correct and appropriate ways to socialise puppies and there are correct ways to continue this into adulthood. But socialisation is not achieved by putting dogs into un-natural and confronting situations.
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